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Life changed on a Five Rhythms retreat with Dawn Morgan and Adam Barley called Patterns in the Sand over New Year, I think it has to be in 2001 or 2002. On New Year's Eve we were asked to do some ritual theatre which is my idea have complete and utter torture. I didn't want to do it, but when they came round to our little pod and said 'you're going to act out the rape of the Earth' I thought 'Oh great! I can do that I'll be Earth - I'll just get raped -- that'll be a no brainer!'
So we created this little theatrical piece and I got clothed in everything that we had: all these different layers of scarves and coats & god knows how many pairs of socks and pants and everything that we could find, and then I was placed on a throne in front of everybody and I was handing out cups of tea.
My cohort basically were running around me, and they just started pulling off my scarves and pulling off my coats and attacking me and drilling me and mining me and deforesting me and yanking off my clothes and just fighting over what was there, and all the time they were just taking, taking, taking, and I just kept on handing out cups of tea. I just kept providing and kept providing.
And eventually I was left naked except for a scarf, a sock and a shoe, at which point I hurled myself on the ground and did this huge theatrical wail of 'I'M DYING!', and that was the moment that the humans around me were supposed to wake up to the fact that they were trashing me - and then they were going to put me back on my throne and everything was going to be fine!
But I was lying on the ground in this state of complete shock - complete shock -- and there's this nursery rhyme humpty-dumpty that was just going around my brain again and again: 'all the king's horses and all the kings men couldn't put Humpty together again.....all the king's horses and all the kings men couldn't put Humpty together again...' and my mind starts yelling 'OH My GOD IT'S OVER! we don't get a second chance -- you can't put me back together again - you can't put me back together again -- YOU CAN'T PUT ME BACK TOGETHER AGAIN!' and it was just going in and in, and my systems is like....aaaaahhhhhhhhhh...so they put me back on my throne and they did a little dance and had a community moment, but I was still completely in shock.
I looked up and the room was sobbing -- it had gone in -- the message had hit home, and I went back and sat down to watch the other ritual theatre. Then we had this present giving bit where some present is given to you and I was given this thing and I opened it, and it was a book with the title 'You can Change the World', and I just started uncontrollably sobbing. There was this other part of me observing that was going 'Wow - she's really lost it, she's really breaking', and inside me, all these realisations were happening like - I desperately want to do something for this world - like - I desperately have to do something for this world, but at the same time there was this other part of me that I was realizing was sitting there saying 'Who are you to do something? How can you do something? If you stand out, what will people say? You know you have no right!'
...And I was in this kind of split state of incredulity that the arrogance of my smallness was sitting there saying 'You are nothing - you can contribute nothing!' and another part of me was saying, 'This is killing me! Doing nothing is killing me! I'm living a lie. I'm colluding with a system that is destroying life and I can't keep doing this!'...and I woke up. I woke up in that moment. I realized that my insecurities, my inadequacies, my smallness was nothing...nothing in comparison to what was going on, and that I had a choice to live a life that was completely meaningful, and that what I needed was to just give myself permission to really feel the truth of what was going, because if I could feel that truth then I would move into action, and I would move into right action......
Life changed on a Five Rhythms retreat with Dawn Morgan and Adam Barley called Patterns in the Sand over New Year, I think it has to be in 2001 or 2002. On New Year's Eve we were asked to do some ritual theatre which is my idea have complete and utter torture. I didn't want to do it, but when they came round to our little pod and said 'you're going to act out the rape of the Earth' I thought 'Oh great! I can do that I'll be Earth - I'll just get raped -- that'll be a no brainer!'
So we created this little theatrical piece and I got clothed in everything that we had: all these different layers of scarves and coats & god knows how many pairs of socks and pants and everything that we could find, and then I was placed on a throne in front of everybody and I was handing out cups of tea.
My cohort basically were running around me, and they just started pulling off my scarves and pulling off my coats and attacking me and drilling me and mining me and deforesting me and yanking off my clothes and just fighting over what was there, and all the time they were just taking, taking, taking, and I just kept on handing out cups of tea. I just kept providing and kept providing.
And eventually I was left naked except for a scarf, a sock and a shoe, at which point I hurled myself on the ground and did this huge theatrical wail of 'I'M DYING!', and that was the moment that the humans around me were supposed to wake up to the fact that they were trashing me - and then they were going to put me back on my throne and everything was going to be fine!
But I was lying on the ground in this state of complete shock - complete shock -- and there's this nursery rhyme humpty-dumpty that was just going around my brain again and again: 'all the king's horses and all the kings men couldn't put Humpty together again.....all the king's horses and all the kings men couldn't put Humpty together again...' and my mind starts yelling 'OH My GOD IT'S OVER! we don't get a second chance -- you can't put me back together again - you can't put me back together again -- YOU CAN'T PUT ME BACK TOGETHER AGAIN!' and it was just going in and in, and my systems is like....aaaaahhhhhhhhhh...so they put me back on my throne and they did a little dance and had a community moment, but I was still completely in shock.
I looked up and the room was sobbing -- it had gone in -- the message had hit home, and I went back and sat down to watch the other ritual theatre. Then we had this present giving bit where some present is given to you and I was given this thing and I opened it, and it was a book with the title 'You can Change the World', and I just started uncontrollably sobbing. There was this other part of me observing that was going 'Wow - she's really lost it, she's really breaking', and inside me, all these realisations were happening like - I desperately want to do something for this world - like - I desperately have to do something for this world, but at the same time there was this other part of me that I was realizing was sitting there saying 'Who are you to do something? How can you do something? If you stand out, what will people say? You know you have no right!'
...And I was in this kind of split state of incredulity that the arrogance of my smallness was sitting there saying 'You are nothing - you can contribute nothing!' and another part of me was saying, 'This is killing me! Doing nothing is killing me! I'm living a lie. I'm colluding with a system that is destroying life and I can't keep doing this!'...and I woke up. I woke up in that moment. I realized that my insecurities, my inadequacies, my smallness was nothing...nothing in comparison to what was going on, and that I had a choice to live a life that was completely meaningful, and that what I needed was to just give myself permission to really feel the truth of what was going, because if I could feel that truth then I would move into action, and I would move into right action......
Waking Up - Clare Dakin, Founder Tree Sisters video editing software free | |
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Non-profits & Activism | Upload TimePublished on 15 Aug 2013 |
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